VERNON'S FUNERAL

Vernon works hard at the Phone Company but spends 
two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every 
Saturday.  
 
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, 
so for his birthday she takes him to a local 
strip club.
  

The doorman at the club greets them and says, 
"Hey, Vern! How ya doing?"
  
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to 
this club before.  
 
"Oh no," says Vern."He's in my bowling league."
  
When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern 
if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
  

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable 
and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
  
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
  
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her 
arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all 
over him and says... 
"Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
  
Vern's wife, now furious,
grabs her purse and 
storms out of the club.
  
Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in 
beside her.
  

Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper 
must have mistaken him for someone else, 
but his wife is having none of it. 
  
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, 
calling him every 4 letter word in the book..
  
The cabby turns around and says,
  
'Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.'
  
  
  

VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE FRIDAY