*• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!*

 

*• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it, of-course.*

 

*• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.*

 

*• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist*

 

*• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.*

 

*• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.*

 

*• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.*

 

*• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.*

 

*• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.*

 

*• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.*

 

*• When chemists die, they barium.*

 

*• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.*

 

*• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.*

 

*• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.*

 

*• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.*

 

*• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?*

 

*• When you get a bladder infection, urine troubles.*

 

*• Broken pencils are pointless.*

 

*• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.*

 

*• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.*

 

*• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.*

 

*• Velcro - what a rip off!*

 

*• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.*