LIFE IS GOOD"

I got a new stick deodorant today.
The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.  I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.

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If you have friends who make you laugh,
spend lots of time with them. 
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Sign over a Gynaecologist's Office:�
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

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��In a Podiatrist's office:�
"Time wounds all heels."

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On a Septic Tank Truck:�
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

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On a Plumber's truck:�
"We repair what your husband fixed."

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On another Plumber's truck:�
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

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On a Church's Bill board:�
"7 days without God makes one weak."

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At a�Tyre�Store�
"Invite us to your next blowout."

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On an Electrician's truck:�
"Let us remove your shorts."

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In a Non-smoking Area:�
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

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On a Maternity Room door:�
"Push. Push. Push."

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At an Optometrist's Office:�
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

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On a Taxidermist's window:�
"We really know our stuff."

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On a Fence:�
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

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At a Car Dealership:�
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

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Outside a Car Exhaust Store:�
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

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In a Vets waiting room:�
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

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In a Restaurant window:�
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:�
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

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And don't forget the sign at a�
RADIATOR SHOP:�
"Best place in town to take a leak."

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Sign on the back of yet another�
Septic Tank Truck:�
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"