MEN JOKES
Posted by kim on Saturday, January 12, 2013 Under: Jokes
One day my housework-challenged
husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the
laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE !'
And they say blondes are dumb....
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world...'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...... '.
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower..'Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men..
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy. .
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
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While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world..........
......then He made the earth round.
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE !'
And they say blondes are dumb....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world...'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...... '.
------------ --------- -------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower..'Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
--------- --------- --------- ----
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
---- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men..
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy. .
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world..........
......then He made the earth round.
In : Jokes