Hi all
Some jokes to brighten your morning…
 
1) I am dying
Husband texts to wife on cell..
"Hi, what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "Bloody English Language!
 
2) Angry wife to her husband
An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:
"Where d Hell Are You ...?"
Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The
Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money
That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "O:)
Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love!
Husband: I 'm in the Pub Just Next To That Shop
 
3) A Special Package for Business Men
An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. Buy Ur
Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free. After Great Success, The Company
Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"
 
4) Husband was seriously ill
Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be
pleasant & in gud mood, don't discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don't
demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?
Wife:- .No chance for u to survive
 
5) An intelligent wife
''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much
That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"
 
6) New SIM to surprise her husband
Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise
Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room. She Goes To
The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: "Hello Darling"
The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: "Let Me Call U Back Later Honey,
The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..
 
6) Wife treats husband
A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..
At The Club: Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?
Wife Asks: How Does He Know You?
Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football with Him
Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ?
Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything, He's On the Darts Team in My Local
Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim
Do You Crave Special Again?
The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..
Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy, You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."
Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday
 
7) Cool message by a wife
Cool Msg by a woman: Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle
my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of
improvement"
 
8) Sweet demand by kid
A Sweet demand by a kid.
A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came n asked - what happen son?
Kid said-I can't adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.
 
9) Lion bounced on wife
In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..
 
10) Throwing knives on wife's picture
Husband was throwing knives on wife's picture. All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?"
His honest reply, "MISSING U"
 
11) I will think about it
When a married man says "I'll think about it",
What he really means that,  He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..
 
12) Habit of talking in sleep
A Lady to Doctor:
My husband has  habit of talking in sleep! what shud i give him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak when he is awake !
 
 
13) Part & Art of living
Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...
But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.
 
14) Head & Neck of the family
It is said that Husband is the head of the family, but remember that
wife is the Neck of the family & the Neck can turn the Head exactly
the way she wants.
 
15) Wife: Do you want dinner? 
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
 
16) What is the Difference between Mother & Wife? 
What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U
Continue to do so.