A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!!

                When I bought my iphone, I thought about the 30-year
business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a mobile phone that
plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and
Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my
seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could
communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle
something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

                That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for
Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific
Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell
phone and every other program within the texting World.

                My phone was beeping every three minutes with the
details of everything except the bowel movements of my entire next
generation. I am not ready to live like this. I now keep my iphone in
the garage in my golf bag.

                The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because
they say I get lost every now and then going over to the supermarket
or library.. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue
tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I used it
once when I was standing in line at Coles talking to my wife and
everyone within 50 mtrs was glaring at me. I had taken out my hearing
aid to use it, and I was talking little loud!

                I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board,
but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I
had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically
say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It
was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep
sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn when possible. Then if I made a
right turn instead, well, it was not a good relationship.


                When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell
her the name of the cross roads and while she is starting to develop
the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

                To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how
to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years,
but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at
once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking
bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

                The world is just getting too complex for me. They
even mess me up every time I go to the supermarkets. You would think
they could make a decision themselves, but this sudden "Paper or
Plastic?" every time I check out just leaves me confused. I bought
some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking stupid, but I never
remember to take them with me.

                Now when they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say,
"Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to
stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I
answered, No, but I do fart a lot."

                P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to
you to allow you to forward it to those who are.

                Us senior citizens don't need any more gadgets. The TV
remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.