Wife wish 2 be a newspaper

  Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I would be in ur hands all day.

  Husband: I too wish that u were a newspaper so I could have a new one every day.

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Can I make a call to my wife?

  A man in Hell asked Devil:

  Can I make a call to my Wife?

  After making call he asked how much to pay.

  Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Husband, wife & spare tyre

  HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle.

  If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further

  Moral: Always Keep a SPARE TYRE....

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Similarity between chewing gum &  begum (=wife [in Urdu]) ??

  Both are sweet at the beginning and become tasteless, shapeless and chipku (=tasteless, shapeless, nagging) in the end..

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

WIFE IS DANGEROUS

  LOVE IS LIFE

  LIFE IS WIFE

  WIFE IS KNIFE and

  KNIFE IS DANGEROUS

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Too late for garbage

  Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:

  Am I Too Late For The Garbage?

  Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.

  Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

What if you don't see me for 2 days?

 

A man came home late at night after a party.

 

His wife yelled: "how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"

 

The man couldn’t believe his luck: 'that would be great'!

 

Monday passed and he didn’t see her......

 

Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....

 

On Thursday his swelling became better

 

And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Who is guilty (Husband / Wife)?

 

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts: "Up! Quick! My husband is back!" Man gets up, jumps out of the window, hurts himself, and then realizes: "Damn, I am the husband!"

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Why women starts with "W"

 because all questions start with "W".. !

  Who ?

  Why ?

  What ?

  When ?

  Which ?

  Whom ?

  Where ?

  &

  Finally Wife..!!!

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt,

Tsunamis to devastate,

Hurricanes to sway around

& no one teaches How to choose a Wife,

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend "U r my Best Friend"

But Do u have courage tell to ur Wife "U r my Best Wife?"

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Dream of receiving jewellery & cloths

 Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes!

Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill!!!

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Recently fired stock trader

A recently fired stock trader said ...

"This is worse than divorce... I have lost everything and I still have my wife..."

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Message of the year

Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!

 Why? Very simple...

 A woman does not have a wife..!!!

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Husband to a newly wed wife

Husband to a newly wed wife: I could go to the end of the world for you.

Wife: Thanks, but promise me you will stay there for the rest of your life.

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

  Why did u shoot ur wife?

Judge: why did u shoot ur wife instead of shooting her lover?

Mr. S: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Your husband needs rest

Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.

 Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you.!!